A Bridesmaid’s Point of View

Weddings are, of course, all about what the bride wants, and what she wants is the perfect day. To reach this goal she needs a strong and willing team behind her. The question then becomes what do the bridesmaids want? A choice in what they will wear and how their hair will be done of course, but some may have more on their minds!

Meeting other bridesmaids

“If I haven’t met the other bridesmaids, give me a chance to get to know them. It’s difficult to work as a team when teammates are strangers. A casual meeting where we can chat and become familiar, even friendly, will help form unity, and give me a chance to ‘size up’ my counterparts.”

Give me direction

“Whether I am a seasoned veteran or a newbie, every wedding is different so please let me know what you expect from me. Do you want me to come along on shopping trips? Am I supposed to check in with you on a regular basis? I don’t want to let you down, and to do the best job possible I need clear instructions. I know that sometimes giving instructions or asking for favours can be uncomfortable, but doing favours is what being a bridesmaid is all about!”

No assumptions

“Don’t assume that because you are getting married, I am desperate to be married too! Comments like “Don’t worry your turn will come” are not what I need to hear. I am here to celebrate your happiness not reflect on mine. If I have chosen a career over domestic bliss let’s not speculate on my future with remarks that imply it’s going to be a lonely one.”

Don’t set me up

“Don’t use your wedding as an opportunity to set me up. Some future brides transition into a world where marriage is the only answer, so to save humanity matchmaking becomes a priority. Well intended, but unless it’s at my request, please don’t. Most of the time all you have done is put me in an awkward situation. The groomsman you hoped I would agree to marry before the reception was over is a nice guy, but really? If I want to find the love of my life at your wedding (and yes, I will give you the credit) let me find him myself.”

Maintain team spirit

“Ok, I know Aunt Mildred cornered you into having me as a bridesmaid, and I wasn’t your first choice, but here I am, so if you want me to pitch in, showing favouritism won’t inspire me to deliver. I don’t want to be the last to know plans have changed or go to lunch and toy with my salad while you reminisce with your college roommate/MOH. Whether I’m your BFF or a family obligation exercise equal rights.”

When bridesmaids are included, informed and respected it will inspire them to work on your behalf, and if their efforts help make you blissfully happy, maybe they will get caught up in the enchantment, and reconsider your views on married life.